Just for the record, the father of my children has not paid one dime of child support since October 2008. Has not held medical insurance for them, as required by the judgement, in years, has not paid for any medical bills. But most importantly, has not paid a dime in child support.

So all you local readers out there who think he's such a great guy because he throws fantastic parties and invites you to them, and you know who you are, you think about where that alcohol and food came from. He lives in a house he owns, with his wife and mother-in-law, both who have jobs, but he leaves me to support BOTH of our children without a dime of help.

And don't think I'm not planning to do something about it. This time I have money for a lawyer. We're going to get this shit taken care of this time, for good.

Edited to add: What do you know, Buffy just mentioned that her dad HAS a job, is WORKING, getting a PAYCHECK. So you know what? Fuck you Armando Corral. Really. You're an ass of even bigger proportions than I imagined.

I had to send back Run Lola Run because it was skipping.
I watched 10 unimpressive minutes of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the DVD froze, then the DVD player kept spitting it out.
I don't know if it's a problem with my player or the movies. I'm going to be mad if my DVD player isn't working.
I just put in Burn After Reading, but I have to start work in 30 minutes and I'm not much in the mood for a movie anymore.

BOO! BOO to scratched DVDs and possibly broken DVD players!!!

So last weekend Buffy wanted a hair cut. We drove to the hairdresser which is right by the farmers market, and she went inside while I sat on a bench outside to have a snack. When I finished, I walked around for a few minutes.

Then I went to see if she was ready. I stood at the tinted window and peeked in but I couldn't see her. At the hairdressing stations I saw the backs of a man, a short-haired person, and a little kid. I looked over at the sitting area, no Buffy. "Where the heck did she go?" I wondered. I stepped inside to find her because there was no way she could have left without me seeing her. I saw the man, the short-haired person, the little kid, and a bunch of people waiting. No Buffy. But... she HAD to be there! I looked around again. Man, short-haired person, little kid... OMG. OMG OMG OMG. The back of that short-haired person looks awfully familiar...

"BUFFY!!" I exclaimed. The entire establishment looked up at me. Including Buffy. "YOU CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR????" She looked up at her hairdresser, "I told you my mom would freak out," and gave us all the hugest smile ever.

I wasn't mad at her, I was just shocked. I thought she was going in for a trim, probably because she's always whining about wanting her hair LONGER. Stupid kids, haha. But the truth was, she looked GREAT. It really was just the SHOCK of not being able to find her when I KNEW she was there, and then finally realizing all that hair piled on the floor belonged to her, haha.

Anyway, she has turned into quite the little model since then.
Do you all like it too?

So, you'll never hear me admit this again, I hope, but I'm watching Bret Michael's stupid new show and WHO would have ever believed they could find so many slutty, brainless women? As many episodes of Rock of Love and Charm School I have watched (Rock on, Sharon Osbourne), I cannot believe they found this many women who are even dumber and sluttier than the previous women.

Again I ask - how do you get through life like that? I can't even imagine living their lives.

And Bret - is he not EXHAUSTED dealing with all the drama with these women? I'm exhausted just watching the show.

That's it. You'll never hear again that I wasted a minute on this show. Because I won't admit it, haha.

You all are being very helpful and enthusiastic with the food and cooking comments. I know, I know, it's much more interesting than four years of hearing about Dante and Homer and various obscure 16th century playwrights. Looks like things are going to start getting interesting again, eh?

One thing I haven't mentioned, that Kate reminded me of, is that Scott is an excellent cook and cooks ALL meals when I am in Aptos. In fact, it had been about two years since I had cooked him a meal, in the middle of my stressed out and don't know how to deal with it stressed out mess of four years, haha. So he was shocked at how good the New Years Eve dinner was, and really appreciated it. In fact, he tried to duplicate my soup recipe this weekend, haha. He even made it better by adding sausage to it.

So anyway, I just wanted to make sure Scott got his props, because he's been a very helpful, supportive boyfriend who really loves to cook and create recipes. He would be the Last person to sit and wait for me to cook dinner - actually I couldn't keep him out of the kitchen and stop him from stirring the soup when I was cooking, haha. I think cooking together is going to open a whole new time of fun for us.

As soon as the rain stops I think I'll make another addition to the hobby list: Gardening!
That's right, get ready for a vegetable garden this year!

I even thought about getting some houseplants this weekend to practice with - but then I remembered the reason I have no houseplants is that both cats love to eat them. So we'll just wait for the rain to stop.

Cucumbers! Peas! Tomatoes! Peppers!!!

I don't know when I stopped liking to cook. Last week, after I made the first soup from my new cookbook, I had really relaxed, nice, cozy feelings. It had taken some work to make that soup: there was chopping and sauteing and boiling and cutting and much watching of the pot. But I had fun making it and just felt so great after.

And the next day, when I had a craving for cookies and none of my kids felt like making some for me (ungrateful buggers, haha) I decided... why not? And again, I had a good time baking.

I tried to remember the last time I actually made cookies myself, and the last time I remember for sure was Christmas 1988. Before I had kids. I tried to remember if I ever enjoyed cooking dinner (because in the last four years it's been whatever was the fastest thing I could throw together and toss in the oven, I had NO desire to get into any complicated recipe), and I remembered back when I was first married I had cookbooks that I loved and would ALWAYS try new recipes. In fact, I received the "365 ways to cook chicken" book as a shower gift, and by the time we got divorced my husband had declared he would never eat chicken again. Heh.

So I tried to figure out what happened, because obviously it wasn't just school that did it; I couldn't remember really being happy in the kitchen since the very early years of my marriage. And this is what I realized:

After those first two years of marriage I was in charge of taking care of two kids who were both babies, all by myself. ALL by myself. I remember actually holding Spike over my shoulder with one arm while I tried to cook dinner with my other arm. No, the husband would not even hold the baby while I cooked dinner. Later on, when they were old enough to walk, it became more difficult to cook because they wanted to help, and I was never skilled in that kind of patience. Later, when the husband left (hurray!) there was no food to cook. And finally, when the kids were old enough to leave me alone in the kitchen and I should have been able to cook some great meals, I went back to school. Thus began our four year association with the cereal box, heh.

But now here I am, no school to worry about, no little kids running underfoot trying to burn themselves or me, and a kitchen full of food. I can finally get in there, alone, pull out ingredients I need, and have time to make something delicious.

I finally GET it, when I hear women talking about how they love to cook. I haven't felt that love in 18 years because it was either a chore or an impossibility (cooking with a baby in one arm, can you BELIEVE THAT???), or there was no food to cook or zero time to cook it. Dinner has been a stress inducer for 18 years. Now it's finally a time for me to take for myself, to put some love into the food and make something really good and nutritious for my family. In fact, I think that's why last night's soup didn't turn out so well - I was furious with my son while I was cooking it. There wasn't a lot of love put into that soup.

Today Spike is going to the store to pick up ingredients for more cookies, and then we're making a beef/chili soup tonight. I saved the beef soup for a day he didn't have to work, so he can eat it fresh. It's topped with tortilla chips and monterey jack. And then we'll have cookies for dessert.

Maybe later we'll move on to pies or even a turkey. Maybe. Maybe even for Easter I'll try some tamales. Who knows. But it's a new love for me, and a welcome one. I wish I could have been that cookie-making mom when the kids were little, but I did okay with what I had, and they're certainly enjoying themselves now.

My Netflix movies this morning are:

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Burn After Reading
Run Lola Run

Run Lola Run is one of my all time favorite movies and always gets me back in the mood to run again. Hopefully a viewing of Lola today and the premiere of Biggest Loser tomorrow will get me back into things. Damn final papers! They forced me to quit the best running of my life and I've been out of habit ever since! But now it's time to get back into it...

It's Monday morning and I finally get some quiet time. Buffy went back to school today, Spike is home but he doesn't wake before noon if he can help it. I don't have to work until 11am so I'm free. Yeah, I was supposed to go to the gym this morning, but it was cold and dark when I woke up, so, ummm... tomorrow.

I have a feeling Spike is going to be extra good and helpful today. He got yelled at yesterday by me, and he HATES getting in trouble. But honestly, I'm tired of dealing with this 18 year old boy. If it were only the messes he leaves behind him like a trail of horse poop in a parade, I could probably live with that. But it's the fact that everything he touches in this house DISAPPEARS. We are down to three spoons again. Since my mother died three years ago and we took home three sets of her silverware, WE HAVE LOST ALMOST EVERY SPOON. I've started going to the Goodwill to pick up replacements so I can stir sugar into my coffee or have some cereal. I refuse to buy any new utensils until that boy is out of the house. At least all the cups and mugs that go missing can be found stacked up, filled with moldy old coffee, in his bedroom. But the SPOONS??? Where are the spoons???

Anyway, I lost it when I came home Sunday and his mess was all over the kitchen, two of my mother's Japanese crystal shot glasses were sitting on the sink, various stinky cups and mugs sitting on counter, and there were NO SPOONS in the drawer. I bet a bunch of them mysteriously appear today. Everything tends to get "fixed" after he gets yelled at, for around 48 hours at least.

It's 8am, time for me to go read a book.

I finished New Moon this weekend, and I'm glad you all commented in agreement about it because if this had been the first book of the series I would never have read the next one, if I had even finished this one. The last 100 pages were okay - well, until the last ten pages when Bella is being Bella again, and like Lanie said, I just want to smack the crap out of that girl.

I really liked her in the first book, but from the beginning of this book I disliked her - rude, thoughtless, EMO, thoughtless, willing to lead people on to get what she wants, wanting what SHE wants regardless of the effect on others. Did I mention thoughtless and rude? She's just not a role model. And she annoys the crap out of me. I don't know why this series didn't go down in flames after book 2.

So I guess I'll try book 3, but I'm not going to buy it, I'll just wait until the library has it and I'll read other good books until then. I'm over halfway into my second reading of Kitchen Confidential, and then it's back to Middlesex. I have two books on hold for me at the library, don't remember which they are, and another ("Girls" that Ipek recommended) that Amazon might deliver to me sometime in my lifetime. Seriously, I've already received two other things that I ordered AFTER that order.

Okay, back to reading I go!

I'm doing laundry and then I'll be off to Aptos. With my books, haha.
I'm now reading, at the same time, New Moon, Kitchen Confidential AND Middlesex. Fun!

To Mariel: Yeah, Anthony Bourdain IS hot. When I first read his book I barely kind of knew who he was. Now I'm so hooked on his "No Reservations" show (I watched a BUNCH of episodes last night!) that I decided to read his book again.

Scott wants to see a movie today but we can't agree on anything. I want to see Doubt or Milk, he doesn't. He wants to see Benjamin Buttons, which I hear is great, but I don't want to sit for three hours in a dark theater (I have to save up my vampire life for Cinequest, haha). We both want to see The Wrestler, but I can't find it at any theaters so I'm assuming it hasn't come out yet. Sigghhhh.'

But there are always books to read!

I started the New Moon book, #2 of the Twilight series. And though I'm only about 150 pages in, I definitely don't like it as much as the first book. First of all, Edward is nowhere to be found, heh. And Bella is just moping moping moping. At first, I wanted to just smack her, "GET OVER IT ALREADY", heh, but I remembered back to high school when my first love broke my heart, and okay, I reacted in the exact same way that Bella did. So... I GET it. But I don't want to READ about it, okay? I'm assuming Edward must reappear somewhere in this book, and it better be sooner rather than later, because I can't take more of this moping.

Okay, rant over. I'm also reading Middlesex, which is awesome, but when New Moon arrived yesterday I knew I could get through it quickly so I decided to do that one first. I'm still in the mindset that I only have a very short period of time to get in "fun" reading, so I'm still unconsciously trying to whiz through the books at ungodly speeds. After these two I want to re-read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, and Scott got me a book called Labyrinth by Kate Mosse. And Ipek recommended "Girls" to me, which Amazon is taking its sweet time sending me. If anyone else has any suggestions, please send them on! Despite what my brain has been trained to believe, I actually have all the time in the world to get through a zillion books. I wonder how many I'll get through this year?

Ignore the entry right below this, it's just a marker for my "What am I reading?" page.

Currently Reading (and paying attention to)
Middlesex Jeffrey Eugenides
Kitchen Confidential Anthony Bourdain

Finished 2009
New Moon Stephenie Meyer

Previous Years
2008
2007
2006
2005
2002-2004

We had a very nice, quiet, happy evening last night. I made Greek-style quesadillas and mulligatawney soup, and Scott LOVED them both. I kept his bloody mary glass filled, as he's had a hard week, and they did seem to make him happy, haha. Then for dessert I went for simple since dinner was quiet an elaborate cooking extravaganza: Chocolate pudding with Cool Whip and fresh strawberries. It was delicious.

While I cooked Scott watched the "House" episode about his father's funeral, which I had taped for him. Then we watched a couple movies on HBO: Bourne Ultimatum and Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. We went to bed just before midnight, but heard the celebrations outside right at midnight. We said Happy New Year and went to sleep.

Woke up around 7am. I made coffee and we watched lots of my music videos on iTunes (he loved the OK-Go treadmill video). Then we watched Chuck and Larry on TV, went to breakfast at the bakery, and he drove on home. I'm spending the day relaxing and waiting for Buffy to come home from her friend's house. Spike is in and out with his friends. Tomorrow I'll head over to Scott's house.

It's a good day so far. No stress (I'm still learning how to deal with it, or with not having it), lots of quiet, and just... rest.

So I asked Scott to come to my house this year for New Years, because even though the house has only been 10% cleaned since school ended I just don't want to spend another New Year's Eve with his housemates. I want to be happy and loud and silly and laughing all night, and it's too quiet with his housemates. And there's no drunkeness or silliness, just a lot of quiet and serious discussions. And... I just want Scott to myself to enjoy our SIX YEAR ANNIVERSARY - whaaaAAAATTT??

Hahahah... no wonder the writing has gotten so boring, who wants to read about happiness?
:)

So tomorrow Buffy will be babysitting for her grandmother and Spike will be... probably sorely disappointed that he can't have a party here when he discovers I'm staying home, haha. But I bet he'll throw something in the garage anyway, and then I get to feed off his energy too. I like being around my kids, I don't really like spending any holidays without them.

So for dinner tomorrow I'm going to make some Greek quesadillas (pitas filled with feta, cucumbers, chopped olives, tomatoes, etc, and fried like a Mexican quesadilla) kind of for an appetizer. Then for dinner, from my new soup cookbook of course, I'm thinking mulligatawny soup, as it has chicken and raisins and should be filling.

But what for dessert? What is a good idea for a dessert like food that we can have later on? Any ideas? Maybe chocolate strawberries? Hmmmmm. I'll have to think. Any ideas?

My plan is to watch movies and maybe play games, but definitely have some alcohol and stay up til midnight. Then sleep in my NICE SOFT WARM bed (the opposite of his bed) and wake up in the morning happy and rested. Go to Starbucks for coffee and books. And maybe a movie later. Yayyyy. I like this idea much better than going to his house, even if it does mean I have to clean my room.
:-D

Friday I do go to his house for the weekend, but I am really happy with the idea of two extra days with my kids, and sleeping in my nice SOFT WARM bed, and hanging out at my house with my cats and everyone I love.

So send in your dessert ideas please! I know everyone is on vacation from blogs during the holiday season, but if you think of something good, let me know!

AND I bought tickets to see "Chicago" at the Center for Performing Arts in January! One of my very favorite musicals!

Spike was officially promoted from "Holiday Help" at Circuit City to "Real Employee", Yayyy!